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All posts for the month January, 2014

I think it’s the lack of sunlight…

Published January 30, 2014 by Tritrigirl

Warning: Bitchy and depressing post

I have been in a funk for awhile now.  I’m beginning to think it’s lack of sunlight.  I’ve upped my meds like the doctor gave me license to and nothing doing.  I’m just grumpy.  I hate the gym, I hate yoga, I hate work and it’s COLD.  I don’t mind some cold but COME ON, some mornings I can’t warm up even with slippers, fleece jammies, a sweater and hot coffee.  WTF.  AND I will stab you in the eye just for the hell of it.  Maybe not.  But I did seriously considering pulling this bitch out of her car at the gym last night and throat punching her after she almost ran me over in the parking lot.  ALMOST. RAN. ME. OVER.  Who does that?  I wasn’t wearing camouflage and I was clearly walking and she almost ran me over.  I swear she even revved her engine.  I can’t promise that I won’t slash her tires or punch her if I see her again.  I better make sure NCBF has bail money.  I miss sunshine.  That has to be it.

I didn’t wake up and go to boot camp this morning.  Well, let’s re-phrase, I woke up at 4:50 to pee and decided that I didn’t want to go.  So I changed my alarm and then laid in bed chastising myself for being lazy and began the self-loathing inner monologues about how I suck and I won’t be prepared for the first Tri of the season, etc, etc, etc.  Until I fell asleep again.  I was so sure I’d wake up promptly at 8 and then get some lifting in.  Uh, no, that didn’t happen either.  ERGH!  Hate this funk!

I’m trying to look forward to this afternoon as I’m taking it off to get my hair done.  I’m in bad need of a color refresher and then I might get a pedicure or do my own.  I don’t know.  I want to play video games.  NCBF wants me to play The Last of US and because I’m feeling so damn contrary I want to play Fallout: New Vegas.  See what I mean?  There’s no reason for that they’re both great games and he just wants to play it again so that’s why he wants me to finish it.  Truth is, I suck at this game.  There’s all the sneaking around stuff and I’ve just never been good at that.  That’s why I like Fallout…can run into a room and blast the shit out of stuff.

That’s all I’ve got for my rant today.  I really wish the sun would come out….

On a Roll, yo!

Published January 28, 2014 by Tritrigirl

Yesterday I mentioned, in regards to whether or not I’m a good writer, that I have a lot of stories inside me.

To be honest I have 3 that are in various stages of writing.  One of the stories is set for at least 3 “books” worth…and that one hasn’t been worked on in years.  I think partially because it’s a bit overwhelming and my confidence in my writing just isn’t there yet.

The next one is a little close to home, in the romance department.  It’s a chick lit book because when the story came to mind I was reading way too much chick lit and had a huge crush on a guy I sorta worked with while I’ve been in my non-committed long term relationship (too much to explain).  This one I know from front to back story-wise, it’s just been a matter of getting that front to back on paper, er, computer.  Again, has not been worked on in years.

The last and most current was one I started with the high hopes of FINALLY completing NANORIMO (is it even still called that?) last November and while watching way too much Supernatural.  It too is a chick lit book, but unlike Supernatural, there’s no Supernatural just characters loosely based on what I imagine the actors would be in real life…if they weren’t actors.  Don’t judge.  I’m not very far in that one either.

But I have a wonderful friend who loves to read my writing and promising to keep her editing to herself until the projects are finished.  She also diligently harasses me for chapters (not pages).  She’s been bugging me about that latest so last night I found myself with some free time before yoga (which I didn’t make it to but for other reasons) and began working on my story.  And I totally got on a roll.  I sent her the promised couple of chapters and then continued to write another chapter or so.

It was hard to let go but NCBF called with a crisis about his eldest and I was forced to break off the writing to lecture eldest about his not so great recent choices to dabble with criminal activity.  Yes, I know they aren’t mine, but I’ve been helping raise them for 8 years and have been there more than their mother has so I think I’m allowed to assist in the lecturing at this point, but I digress.

It was amazing to actually get the words down.  The more I wrote the more I could see the story unfolding and the more I was able to bring it to life in my brain and then do my best to get it out.  I always worry that either I go into too much detail or not enough.  I mean, I know it’s not necessary to detail out a character’s day but I feel bad if give an abridged version, even when it really has no bearing on the rest of the story.  How do I get over this?  I’m hoping today to get some more words in after work.  Maybe I’ll finish this one and my confidence will increase so I’ll be able to work on the others.  That’s my overall hope.

Happy Tuesday, y’all.  In central Texas we’re shut down again for ice and freezing temperatures.  My car is a car-cicle and Booty camp was cancelled this morning.  Everyone have a great day and stay warm!

Share Your World

Published January 27, 2014 by Tritrigirl

Ok, I’m totally stealing her blog ideas for the day (hope you don’t mind).  I’m still learning this website but love that there are so many ideas for daily blogging!

So, without further adieu:

Sharing my world – courtesy of Cee’s Photography:

Do you recharge your energy by going out with friends for a good time or by spending with quiet time alone?

Alone, I don’t usually feel like I’m recharging energy if I’m out with friends.  Sometimes that consumes way too much energy.

What is the most number of blankets you’ve ever had on your bed?

2 or 3.  Not including the top sheet which I really think it a waste of a sheet.  I’d rather an extra pillow case than a top sheet because I sleep with 6 pillows, and not decorative stuff.  Except for my unicorn pillow pet.  Anyway, 2-3 blankets tops.  It was chilly.

You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you never met. Would you attend this party if you were to go by yourself?

Most likely, but I’m sure I’d end up in a corner drinking alone after multiple attempts at  conversations that didn’t make it past, “So, how about that polar vortex…” or “Did you survive snow-pocalypse 2014 without your pipes bursting?”  Because I’m wicked awesome at random conversations with strangers.

Do you like talking to people on the phone? Or do you prefer voice mail or email?

Depends.  My mom, brother and some of my friends, yes.  Work related – no.  I occasionally have to call sites I’m not primarily associated with to ask why they aren’t doing their stuff and I pray for voicemail each time.  Consequently I rarely check my own voicemail.  I have Vonage but no phone.  Text and email is easier but when you reach a certain point in a text conversation you may as well pick up the phone.  We use IM a lot at work.

Okay, that’s all I got for Monday (promise this time).  Hope it goes quickly for every one!

Steve Says Monday Music Post…And Page 45 Challenge

Published January 27, 2014 by Tritrigirl

Steve Says to:

(1) Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle
(2) Say the questions aloud and press play
(3) Use the song title as your answers
(4) NO CHEATING

Don’t judge – Thankfully Taylor Swift didn’t show up (Sorry, but I loved listening to Trouble)

Questions:

Are you a good listener?   

Blinding by Florence and The Machine 

Comments:  I’m not really sure about this one…”No more dreaming like a girl…so in love with the wrong world.”  I guess I’m listening to only what I want to hear and not what’s really being said.

Are you a good public speaker?

It’s Raining in Baltimore by Counting Crows

Comments: This song is about reaching out to someone or for something and feeling so alone and sometimes stagnant.  A good public speaker can reach people…in this case I’m not really good at reaching people and getting through to them.  Honestly whenever I’m speaking I typically feel like I can never seem to find the words for what I really want to say whenever I have something important to say.

Are you a good writer?

Radio – Matchbox Twenty

Comments: This song has a lot of little stories in it.  Well, that sums up my writing…I’ve got a lot of little stories in here.  Just need to get them out.  🙂

Lastly one of my favorite bloggers (read – want to find her and make her my best friend) – The Bloggess talks about getting the book nearest to you, turning to page 45, reading the first line and that sums up your love life.

Mine was from Beautiful Redemption (don’t get too excited it sounds more life altering than it is, it’s the last of the Beautiful Creatures series) and the line was “‘Course you can.”  This was pretty entertaining to me because when I first read it my gut reaction was, “Really? That’s it?”  But then the more I thought about it the more I realized that it’s a bit profound.  Of course you can.  Consider moving on in my love life, reaching out for what I deserve and what I want?  Of course you can.  Not be afraid to ask for what I want in a relationship and not put up with the shit I don’t want to?  OF.COURSE.YOU.CAN.

Brilliant!  If you haven’t tried the page 45 test I’d  be curious to read your thoughts and the music list if you haven’t already done it.

Have a happy Monday all!

Got My Mojo Back!

Published January 25, 2014 by Tritrigirl

Well, sorta.  I went to yoga today and had one of the best practices in a long time!  It was a helluva class!  The Saturday instructor kicks your ass.  “Okay, bend your knee, come up on your toes and hold.  Keep breathing, keep breathing. You can do it.  And release.”  OY.

She’s awesome though.  I don’t usually sweat in yoga but I do in her classes.  

So, I’m just happy to report that I’m not quite so discombobulated.  Carry on with your weekend!  🙂

Polar Vortex – ‘Cause it’s cool to say

Published January 24, 2014 by Tritrigirl

So everyone has been inundated with COLD. Er, freezing? FUCK it’s cold.

I live in Texas…we don’t do cold. So the roads froze and to be fair my car was a car-cicle last night and I did slide on the road a little. But thankfully my Pac Northwest training kicked in and I made it home safely. But the schools have closed. For less than an inch of snow. As my friends and family have said, “how cute.”

We’re supposed to stay relatively cold for the next 5 days. Freezing again Monday and Tuesday. The funny thing is that almost all my friends are home from work or working from home. Which really translates into all day mass Facebook IMs because they’re bored. But it makes the drudgery of work far more entertaining.

I didn’t make it to the gym yesterday. It’s started sleeting around 6:00 and I wasn’t really feeling it anyway. But I WILL go today. I was planning on running Saturday but depending on the weather that may or may not happen.

But here’s a lovely picture one of my friends took of Austin this morning:

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Happy Friday everyone and have a great weekend!

I’m a slacker *Hangs head*

Published January 23, 2014 by Tritrigirl

So this morning I “overslept” and missed Boot(y) camp.  I know, I’m a slacker.  Total 100% slacker.  But I have some justifications.  It’s cold – It’s 41F right now, but due to windchill it feels 29F (according to my phone).  I’m not getting out of bed for that and while I set my alarm for 8:30 (remember, I work at home…in jammies…and am not needed until 9:00) I woke up at 7 then went back to sleep.  That’s a sign that I. AM. TIRED.  I also cried during yoga last night.  Seriously.  My hamstrings are so sore and I couldn’t get into the calm, present, zen vibe that I can usually maintain in yoga that I almost threw in the towel and left early.  But instead I stuck it out and found myself crying when I couldn’t get into poses I normally can because my body would not cooperate (neither would my brain).  This all lead to an incredibly un-centered and unhappy Stephanie last night.  So I overslept, on purpose.

I will get in a work out at the gym tonight.  An easy 45 minutes on the elliptical most likely.  I need to start swimming, but the thought of getting into a swimsuit and braving the gym pool just makes me want to hide in a corner while I softly cry and rock back and forth.  I hate swimming.  And I hate the extra weight I’ve put on the past few months.  Which is why I should have gone to boot camp.  Which is now a never ending cycle of guilt, shame and regret.  

This exhaustion has me worried.  I started taking some of the MEGA-WOMEN’S vitamins from GNC in hopes that it’ll help put the spring back into my step and that I’ll quit feeling like taking a nap on my keyboard is a good idea.  Of course working out increases your energy levels and overall well being (see the earlier never ending cycle comment).  

I did sign up for the first triathlon of the Texas Triathlon Series yesterday.  So I’m committed now.  I wish I had the training gusto that I’ve had in the past.  Not really sure why I’ve gotten into such a funk the past few months or why my energy level has plummeted, but it’s really frustrating and needs to be remedied.  Ugh, I am just not a happy camper.  I’m hoping today will get better and that tomorrow will be even better, although we may get snow.  Which means the city will shut down because people down here have no idea how to handle the slightest bit of white stuff outside.  I also need to get a wheel and tire so I can use my bike trainer.  Will look into that this weekend.  Hope everyone’s Thursday is going better than mine.