Warning: Bitchy and depressing post
I have been in a funk for awhile now. I’m beginning to think it’s lack of sunlight. I’ve upped my meds like the doctor gave me license to and nothing doing. I’m just grumpy. I hate the gym, I hate yoga, I hate work and it’s COLD. I don’t mind some cold but COME ON, some mornings I can’t warm up even with slippers, fleece jammies, a sweater and hot coffee. WTF. AND I will stab you in the eye just for the hell of it. Maybe not. But I did seriously considering pulling this bitch out of her car at the gym last night and throat punching her after she almost ran me over in the parking lot. ALMOST. RAN. ME. OVER. Who does that? I wasn’t wearing camouflage and I was clearly walking and she almost ran me over. I swear she even revved her engine. I can’t promise that I won’t slash her tires or punch her if I see her again. I better make sure NCBF has bail money. I miss sunshine. That has to be it.
I didn’t wake up and go to boot camp this morning. Well, let’s re-phrase, I woke up at 4:50 to pee and decided that I didn’t want to go. So I changed my alarm and then laid in bed chastising myself for being lazy and began the self-loathing inner monologues about how I suck and I won’t be prepared for the first Tri of the season, etc, etc, etc. Until I fell asleep again. I was so sure I’d wake up promptly at 8 and then get some lifting in. Uh, no, that didn’t happen either. ERGH! Hate this funk!
I’m trying to look forward to this afternoon as I’m taking it off to get my hair done. I’m in bad need of a color refresher and then I might get a pedicure or do my own. I don’t know. I want to play video games. NCBF wants me to play The Last of US and because I’m feeling so damn contrary I want to play Fallout: New Vegas. See what I mean? There’s no reason for that they’re both great games and he just wants to play it again so that’s why he wants me to finish it. Truth is, I suck at this game. There’s all the sneaking around stuff and I’ve just never been good at that. That’s why I like Fallout…can run into a room and blast the shit out of stuff.
That’s all I’ve got for my rant today. I really wish the sun would come out….