“I’m coming apart of the seams, picturing myself as leads in other people’s dreams, now buzz, buzz, buzz, Doc there’s a hole where something was, Doc there’s a hole where something was…I’m a loose bolt of a complete machine, what a match I’m half tuned and you’re semi-sweet..” – Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo, Fall Out Boy
I have had a ridiculously crazy last 48 hours.
Wednesday night the kids left out some of those chocolate bars that they’re selling for school (unbeknownst to me). You know those gi-normous ones that they sell for a dollar? Guess what my dogs ate? 14 of them. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Thankfully we caught it within 3 hours of them eating it. Off to the Puppy ER we go at 9:00 pm, I called a friend we’d been out at dinner with to beg him to sit with the boys when I left because I made the mistake of telling the oldest with the youngest in ear shot that that much chocolate could kill the dogs (Mike’s* my hero). And then the youngest had a meltdown. (Remember NCBF is in Canada for work) Vets at the Puppy ER are awesome…and sadly they know the dogs almost as well as the normal vet’s office does (sigh). Both dogs were made to throw up and in the end my baby boy, Oreo, was the stinker who ate them all (little fucker). Blueberry got to come home while Oreo had to stay the night under observation. In the end…He’s FINE. Thank goodness. I could barely sleep that night worrying that my baby boy would be approaching chocolate toxicity and potentially dying, but there were no frantic calls from the emergency vet and he got to come home. He’s his normal neurotic self and unless you notice the shaved spot from his IV you’d never know he decided to gorge himself on chocolate and spent the night in the hospital.
*Name changed so no one else can steal my hero.
Yesterday I pick tweedle dee (youngest) and tweedle dummer (oldest) from school to get tweedle dee to swim practice and find out the screen of his net book he got for Christmas was cracked after a kid stepped on it. I never agreed with him taking that damn thing to school but that wasn’t my decision and I’m not about to say I told you so. Tweedle dee was hysterical and having meltdown 4 or 5 of the day, but he impressed me and told me that I was NOT to tell his dad because it was his responsibility and he’d accept the consequences (no Valentine’s dance and no Lego’s Movie tonight). Bless that boy because here come whammy number 2. Drop Dee off at practice and head to the house to check on Dummer because due to timing of practice ending and middle school to high school transition meetings I had to miss my workout. Going to throw something away I notice a missing jar of peanut butter.
Back story – Dummer had a history of stealing food and hoarding it in the past. We’ve worked with him through this and he has a list of allowable, free reign food so he won’t feel the need to do this. He also has a history of stealing (merchandise, money, among other things) and hiding this, getting caught and then lying and getting into all sorts of trouble.
So here goes the conversation:
Me – Where’s the jar of peanut butter?
Dummer – The jar of creamy?
Me – Yes, where is it?
Dummer – I finished it.
Me – You weren’t supposed to have more than 2 spoonfuls, how many did you have? (we’re trying to teach them portion control)
Dummer – 3
Me – Dummer (I didn’t really call him this) you know better and I told you veggies and yogurt for snack, not peanut butter. Where’s the jar?
Dummer – I threw it in the back for the dogs.
Me – Did you really do that or did you give it to them to hide it?
Dummer – To hide it.
Me – Go get it.
He fucking threw it over the fence in the back yard into the park behind the house, not in the backyard for the dogs. So on top of trying to hide it he decided to litter, not including deliberately disobeying. All he had to do was ask if he could have some and I wouldn’t have had any issues. He could have even just told me when I got back to the house that he finished it and we wouldn’t have had any issues. It’s the hiding of it and the lying that gets me. I was furious but did my best not to yell because that doesn’t help. I tried to talk to him. Nothing gets through to him. His dad was livid. Again, it’s not about the food…it’s about the lying and the hiding. All he had to do was say, hey, I ate all this and there wouldn’t have been issues. Dee told his dad about the screen and while Dad was disappointed Dee still gets to go to the dance and the movie…I wish Dummer would learn from this. It’s something we go over every time. If he’d learn it we’d all get to go to the movie tonight. Instead Dad has to stay home with him. Dummer had been doing so well since the last time he’d gotten in trouble for stealing money from his dad and was earning privileges back, I was so proud of him and was making an effort to tell him and give him positive reinforcement.
Now Dummer’s his own kid. He has his own way. He’s smart, but he’s one of those that will bang into almost every wall before he figures out how to get out the damn door. But this latest trend of stealing is testing patience. And to be honest there’s been some times in the past month where I’m close to saying, “HEY. I didn’t give birth to these two and this is SO not my responsibility!” I love them, but holy crap.
And lastly I got a big sliver (that’s what she said) in my hand from the railing on my stairs resulting in me having to track down razor blades to coax it out of my hand. In light of everything it wasn’t much…but let’s call it the sliver that broke the camel’s back and all I could do was laugh and take a shot of vodka.
It’s Friday, Valentine’s Day…I’m not one for the holiday one way or another except that it’s the start of a 3 day weekend. I miss the excitement of Valentine’s Day in elementary school where we decorated boxes or bags with construction paper and makers and everyone got a valentines. There was a party in the afternoon full of candy and cookies and we got to run around hopped up on an awesome sugar high. It’s just not the same as an adult. Although I will partake in the slashed prices of chocolate and flowers tomorrow. I love to buy myself flowers. I try to get some every few months. Just a nice treat for myself that makes me happy. Small things, you know.
Hope everyone has a great weekend no matter your feelings about today. Enjoy your kids, partners, friends, pets and remember to treat yourself (you should once in awhile anyway but use today as an excuse if it’s been awhile).