“I promise you, for all my life, I’ll be always by your side. In the shadow, in the light. I’ll follow you, wherever life goes, but I’ll always be aside. In the shadow, in the light….I promise you, even when the tide is high, I’ll always be on your side. In the shadow, in the light.” – Enigma, In the Shadow, In the Light
I thought you needed some lyrics this morning. Music seems to feature prominently in a lot of my posts. I sit at my desk with Media Player going to my “work playlist,” with work on one monitor and this on the other.
So this last weekend was sadly not nearly as productive as I was hoping for. No cleaning, no artwork and my training was meh. I did work out on this horrible machine at the gym that’s called an adjustable stride machine. It does kick your ass, but I didn’t run or ride. Will have to make up this week. Scott’s in Nashville for work so I’m watching the monkeys. It’s kind of annoying that their mother won’t take them while he’s gone. She’s got lots of excuses, it’s too far to commute, it’s expensive, they all have to wake up too early, just excuses really. Welcome to being a parent chick…should have thought about that before you started spitting out your birth control pills. Granted I’m sure she figured they would be married forever but whatever.
(side note – my vitamins are seriously making me nauseous. I must not have eaten enough for breakfast before I took them. Blech)
I know I’ve mentioned my secret crush so I’ll talk a little about him. It’s my hero Mike, from the puppy / chocolate bar incident. Seriously, the more time I spend around him the more I like him. It doesn’t hurt that he flirts with me a lot (“it’s sexy to see a chick grilling”), honestly if he didn’t I probably wouldn’t think of him in that way and due to my relationship with Scott I am somewhat free to go down that road. But he’s also divorced, and while I’ve nothing against divorced men (I know A LOT of them) I’m not sure where he’s at with “getting over it” or what he’s looking for. To the best of my knowledge he’s still into the “sowing wild oats again” phase, but it’s never really come up in conversation. He’s got a couple of kids (17 and 11) and is about 6 years older than me. He’s good looking, I’ve thought so since I met him a couple of years ago. We go to dinner on Wednesdays periodically as his son and Scott’s youngest (I feel bad for call the boys Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dummer so we’ll go with Tater Tot and French Fry) since the boys are the same age and have gotten to be really good friends.
Needless to say I’m looking forward to Wednesday. I doubt anything with Mike would ever happen. I’m not really looking for a hook up. I can already get meaningless sex if that’s what I want. I want more. At least some passion, but I worry if we were to hook up I’d like him even more and it would suck if it wasn’t reciprocated. There’s not really any more intimacy or affection between Scott and me. I spend the night over there periodically when the kids are with their mom but it seems pointless now, except that I get to snuggle with the puppies. But overall I sleep better in my own bed.
I daydream about Mike (and okay, he’s good fodder for my fantasies too) and I get excited when I see him online on FB, although I’m too chicken to IM him. “What’s up?” “Nothing, what’s up with you?” “Nothing, what’s up with you?” “Nothing, what’s up with you?” “Nothing, do you like me? Check yes or no.” We text periodically and he makes me smile and all twitterpated. I miss that feeling, you know? That excitement. So it’s definitely fun. He’s friends with Scott and we’ve a bunch of mutual friends, which is also part of why I don’t know if anything would work between us. Right now I’m not really thinking about that. Just looking forward to seeing him on Wednesday.
Also going girly shopping on Thursday. These weeks where Scott’s gone and I have to be around way too much tween and teen testosterone require me to get in some serious estrogen after awhile.