Training

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Starting the 3rd week of Pain

Published May 17, 2016 by Tritrigirl

Seriously…this is the start of the 3rd week of 6 days a week workouts.  Dude, this shit is hard.  It’s not the hardest that I’ve ever put myself through, I recall forcing myself through 2 a day workouts 2-3 times a week for a few months getting ready for Tri season, but honestly I started the year out a little slow on the work out front and managed to get through my half marathons on stubbornness and power of will.

My team is in Tri training.  My coach had kinda left us runners out in the cold, er, humidity.  They’re running on Sundays, but I think I’ve whined about that enough for now.  I paid a friend, who’s  a certified coach, to put together a training plan for me to be half marathon ready in September.  But I’ve essentially had to start over.  I run Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.  Wednesday she throws in exercises with the sprint workouts that I don’t do.  Why?  Because I lift Tuesdays and Thursdays and do Pilates on Wednesdays. Sure more squats and crunches wouldn’t hurt, but….no thank you.

Needless to say I’ve been fucking tired.  Like BONE tired.  I need more sleep.  I even tried to go to bed early last night but didn’t fall asleep until midnight.  Waking up early this morning was hard to do.  I downloaded The Rock Clock.  Pretty entertaining.  If you need some serious motivation in the mornings check it out.  Not only does the Rock sing to you, but there’s a motivational message for the day.  Kinda like, get your ass up, your competition isn’t hitting snooze, you shouldn’t hit snooze, carpe fucking diem.

In other news I found this and my mom is going to make me a throw pillow because…well…because:

PATTERN: 5" x 7" Fear is the C###blocker of Dreams Unicorn

Need Need Need – Etsy Store CarsonZickersham

Chick Flicks…

Published May 3, 2016 by Tritrigirl

Last night I watched Twilight: New Moon, 27 Dresses and Knocked Up.  DON’T JUDGE ME, it was late at night and I couldn’t sleep.  Really I watched all of them at the same time, flipping channel when I got bored.  Sunday night was better…watched Gamer, Babylon A.D. and Max Payne.  More or less back to back.  I was exhausted and didn’t feel like doing anything and didn’t really have anything I needed to do, except laundry.

But anyway, about last night….sometimes I get so frustrated with “chick flicks” they rarely reflect real life and have this phenomenal ability to make me feel like shit.  Although How to be Single was pretty good.  She didn’t end up with any guy at the end, but instead met her goal of hiking a mountain somewhere.  Much better I think, and yet, as much as I hate the feelings of self-loathing and disappointment at the end of a chick flick I am inevitably attracted to them.

There’s something about the story line that never really changes that still draws me in.  Girl meets guy, he usually annoys her or she’s in love with someone else or he’s in love with someone else first, then shit happens and more shit happens and they realize that they’re really in love and live happily ever after.  I mean, what little girl at heart doesn’t drool over this idea?  Well, some don’t, but there’s the idea ingrained into most of our brains that this is exactly what we’re supposed to want.  Not unlike Mila Kunis says in Friends with Benefits, “SHUT UP KATHERINE HEIGL, YOU LITTLE LIAR!”  Although there’s ANOTHER movie with the same damn story line.

Here’s what gets me….did I miss my window?  When I see movies like Knocked Up and think about the fact that really, women are meant to have babies in their 20’s when they’ve got the energy of an energizer bunny, but don’t always have their shit together. Now women are having babies in their 30s and 40s when we have our shit together more or less, we’re stable, craziness of our 20s out of our systems.  When we have careers and sometimes have partners, who also typically have their shit together and are stable.

But here I am, 36 1/2 no babies (human ones anyway), not married, but in a long term open-ish relationship for over 10 years, with no plans for change in the foreseeable future.  We’ve discussed moving in together, but I really don’t think that will happen any time soon.  He doesn’t want to have any more children (his are 13 and 16), I don’t know if I honestly want to have them or if I just tell myself that because it’s not going to happen with him.  Sometimes I feel like I’m married and it’s not anything like I would have thought it would be.  I know marriage isn’t all fairy tales and it isn’t easy all the time, but still.

I spent most of my 20s afraid and depressed, blaming myself for my ex’s infidelity and believing that it was my fault.  Then I met Scott and he awesome, but didn’t want anything serious and this came with a whole host of drama and territory I was unfamiliar with.  In the end things settled down and we’re where we’re at now.  In a rut.  We don’t have sex.  We rarely touch, I can spend the night over there and I might as well have stayed at my own house.  Being lonely when you’re with someone is the worst form of loneliness.  I’d rather be alone.  I could leave and I have considered it, but then I’d really be alone.  I don’t have a lot of friends and I feel like I have virtually no support system without him.  That wasn’t by anyone’s design, it just happened.

I used to travel 80% of the time for work and when I was home I worked from home (still do) so no office, no social life, no friends.  And it’s harder to make friends as an adult when you don’t go to school or to an office.  Sure I go to the gym and I’ve sort of gotten to know some of the ladies in my classes, but no one I’d go out to dinner with or hang out with.  Most of them are married and have kids.  My best friend is a stay at home mom and we don’t see each other often.  My other best friend has a kid, a fiancee and is trying to open her own salon.  I joined a women’s triathlon / running team in hopes of making more friends and I have, but most of them are married and have kids.  When you’re more or less single and don’t have kids these people are hard to really relate to.

As for meeting other guys…ugh.  Online dating sucks.  It’s virtually impossible to meet guys organically any more.  I have very few single friends and most of us have too much shit going on that we don’t go out or if we do it’s to someone’s house and not OUT, out.  I’ve grown out of the “let’s go to the bar and meet guys” mentality, although there are nights when I wish I had the ovaries to do that again.

You know what I miss?  That newness of a relationship, when you’re giddy with butterflies, can’t wait to hear from or see that person, the excitement, can’t keep your hands to yourself-ness, the passion, all that good shit.  I wonder if I’ll ever have it again or if it’s all over for me.  I’m not ready to leave Scott.  There’s too much of our lives intertwined.  Not unlike a marriage.

But I dream of it.  Holy shit do I literally dream of it.  Some mornings I wake up sad that it wasn’t real.  So I guess that’s why I’m drawn to a good cheesy chick flick.  Let me get my fix of what I’m missing, let me believe for a moment that it is possible…even though it’s almost always Katherine Heigl.  Sometimes it’s worth the self loathing and sadness I feel after.  Sometimes it makes me too introspective for my own good.  Like today.  I wish I could come up with something witty and funny, but I’m all out of witty and funny any it’s barely 12:30 pm.

Is there something you worry you’ve missed out on?  Are we too late?

Friday Again

Published April 22, 2016 by Tritrigirl

Last week I didn’t follow up on my progress and felt like I was slacking.  So I’ll sum up this week now.  It’s definitely getting easier.  I think that my stomach is shrinking so I’m not getting as hungry as often.  I’ve got a better handle on things so my blood sugar doesn’t get too low on accident.  I’ve only gone over points once this week.  My goal is to NOT go over points / calories at all but especially during the week.  Weighing out meat and measuring out portions seems to help and it’s nice sometimes to be able to completely load up my plate with extra veggies.  Even though they have no points value the calories are pretty low.

Been working out steadily this week.  Not as much as I’d hoped to but I’m getting there.  Missed spin class on Monday as Tater Tot’s swim practice was cancelled 30 minutes in due to thunderstorms.

What else is happening in my life…I got promoted.  Goes into effect May 1st.  That’s kinda nice and unexpected.  My brother and sister in law are finally reconciling with my dad and stepmom.  That’s a huge deal!  Now for my brother and sister in law to reconcile with my baby brother.  So happy for everyone!!  Tater tot has a swim meet this weekend, which means I’ll get a lot of reading done, but that’s about it.  I need to call a plumber again because my washing machine drain is overflowing again.  They were out 2 weeks ago so I’m thinking they may need to do more than just snake the entire line.  I think it’s finally dried out enough to where I can mow my yard this afternoon.  It’s looking all crazy, thank goodness I don’t live in an HOA!!

Lastly cannot believe Prince died yesterday!  Will be toasting his memory with some Purple Rain cocktails this weekend:

Ingredients:

1-1/2 parts vodka
1 part Blue Curacao
1 part cranberry juice
1 part pineapple juice
1 part grenadine

View recipe: Purple Rain | KeepRecipes: Your Universal Recipe Box http://keeprecipes.com/recipe/howtocook/purple-rain#ixzz46ZXGZL00

In the meantime, let’s go crazy and party like it’s 1999!

 

 

Week 3

Published April 18, 2016 by Tritrigirl

Well, it’s Week 3 of WW.  I’m down about 6 lbs but I can’t tell.  Nothing is fitting looser yet, that’s really what I’m waiting for.  I was better about splurging over the weekend so I didn’t feel as crappy.

Going to restaurants is a pain in the ass.  Seriously.  You have to try to find SOMETHING in the tracker that is remotely close to what you’re eating to track it.  Most restaurants are in the tracker, which is nice, but others you have to guess.  A pain in the ass.  Small victories though, I was good about portions, stopping when I wasn’t hungry anymore things like that.

Scott’s in Amsterdam this week.  I’m watching Tater Tot.  I’m hoping that without him I’ll be better at sticking to the plan.  It’s hard when the person next to you is stuffing their face with food and you’re trying NOT to.

I’d like to come up with some philosophical thoughts or insights today but I’m just not feeling it.  I finished watching Season 2 of Catastrophe.  Brilliant show on Amazon Prime.  Started watching Making a Murderer.  It’s crazy.  That’s all for today.  Check ya later.

48 Hours…I Hate You WW

Published April 6, 2016 by Tritrigirl

So it’s been 48 hours and I’ve already done gone fucked up my WW and Noom Weight Loss trackers.  Last night was a silent auction for our MS 150 Team (150 bike ride for MS fundraising and awareness) and it was held at a Mediterranean resturant that I adore.  There’s pita, and there’s shwarma and there’s kababs and all sorts of deliciousness.  And I ate it…all.  And had some wine.  So, uh, I didn’t log any of it on my trackers, because after 36 hours tracking this shit, I was hungry and out of fucks to give.  But I did go to Body Pump yesterday so there was SOME offset, right?  Right.

So this morning, instead of berating myself for fucking off and enjoying my evening I just started over with a clean slate.  I mean, shit happens.  It’s only the first week so, you know.

I’d like to share some comparisons of the two trackers:

Noom Weight Loss Calorie Allotmant per day based on how much weight I want to lose and how fast: 1650 (Could be less if I wanted to lose weight faster).

Weight Watchers Points allotment per day based on how much I weigh, my gender and magic: 34.  I also have 42 weekly extra points for splurging that are optional to use.

Noom Weight Loss gives more calories for work outs logged.  Body Pump gave me 410 extra calories and was estimated to burn 815 calories for 55 minutes of moderate intensity work out.  No weekly calorie burn goal, but it does give me daily steps goals.

Weight Watchers gives “Fit Points” for daily work outs that you can use as extra points that day for food.  55 minutes of Body Pump equals 22 Fit Points for hard intensity.  I have a weekly goal of 73 Fit Points.

Noom and Weight Watchers have different definitions of Moderate and Hard, hence the different intensity levels.  I am motivated to work out more when it means I can eat more, plus I end up having to eat more any way.  Which is good because after a 7 mile run, I will eat a lot and when Noom gives me about 800 extra calories I will use them.  Which is why splurging was meant to be on Saturdays.

Weight Watchers assigns 0 points for fruit and most vegetables, so it doesn’t count against your daily allottment.  Motivation to eat fruits and veggies.

Noom tracks all of it and so it all counts against your daily calorie count.  Noom also encourages you to eat a variety of foods with a green, yellow and red designation.  They recommend eating more green foods than red, of course.

Here’s how to game the WW system.  Eat salad and fruit all day long, then blow your 34 point on whatever the hell you want.  5 oz of red wine is 4 points.  A bottle is roughly 25.4 oz, you can drink an entire bottle for about 20 points.  OR eat a Burger King double cheeseburger for 12 points and a small fry for 11 points, total 23 points.  Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich is 15 points, small fry is 11 points, total 26.  Drink a Diet Coke or Coke Zero and it doesn’t add anything.  1 container of Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream is 14 points (that can’t possibly be right, but that’s what it says).  In theory, on a day I do Body Pump I can eat fruit and salad ALL DAY long and then have Burger King and a pint of ice cream and only have to use 3 of my Fit Points.  Or I can eat the ice cream and drink a bottle of wine and be right at my daily point allottment.  This doesn’t seem right.

Noom doesn’t give you much wiggle room beyond adding the work out calories to your daily allotment.  A bottle of wine is roughly 625 calories (and a yellow food).  Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich is 540 calories and a small fry would be roughly 291 calories, that’s 831 calories and a little over half my allotment (and all red foods).  I could eat fruit and salad all day but a bowl of ceasar salad is 184 calories, my favorite Target salad is 320 calories.  The ice cream (duh, red food)? There are roughly 4 servings in a pint, that’s 1440 calories!  So there would be no eating of fruit and salads all day and then drinking a bottle of wine and eating a pint of ice cream, even on a day of body pump.  But I think Wendy’s is feasible for a Body Pump day.  😉

That’s where I’m at for a little over 48 hours into this shit.  We’ll see if anything improves as the week(s) go by.

 

 

Drama, Drama, Drama

Published August 31, 2015 by Tritrigirl

Last week was a week FULL of drama.  My Oreo baby went into Renal Failure and was hospitalized from Wednesday to Saturday.  Thankfully he’s completely back to normal but we still don’t know what happened.  More drama erupted between Scott and French Fry.  Ending with French Fry not coming to his dad’s and Tater Tot not going to his mom’s.  For the time being that’s the way it’s going to be.  French Fry threatend Tater Tot over their trip in Colorado and terrified Tater Tot.  He’s afraid to be around him.  He didn’t tell the adults about it because they never believe him.  Then their Mom spouted some bullshit about French Fry needing Tater Tot to protect him from his dad…a 15 year old who’s over 6’4″ needs his 13 year old brother to “protect” him from his father…I’ll let you think about that for a moment.

Let’s try to knock some more of these out:

#30.  When did you last cry in front of another person?  By yourself?

Wednesday when the vet told us Oreo was going into kidney failure and needed to be hospitalized immediately.  Wednesday when I was home from the vet worrying about whether or not he’d live.

#31.  Tell the person you’re with something you already like about them.

You’re SUCH a good listener.  🙂

#32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Rape, sexual abuse, suicide

#33. If you die this evening without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?  Why haven’t you told them yet?

I’d regret not telling my family to let go of whatever has caused them to become estranged from one another.  That life is way too short to be missing out on each other’s lives and relationships.  My brothers don’t talk.  My dad and stepmom don’t talk to my brother and his wife.  They’re all missing out on two adorable and amazing little boys and those little boys are growing up without a set of their grandparents and a weird but kick ass uncle.  Who else is going to teach them about the world of gaming and introduce them to the man bun.  Their missing out on fishing with my dad and baking with my stepmom.  All the hugs and the love.  It hurts my soul.  I haven’t said anything because it’s not quite my place.  I actually don’t completely know what happened between them and they’ve done their best to not put me in the middle which is appreciated.  Nonetheless it makes me sad.

It’s Time to Power Through

Published August 24, 2015 by Tritrigirl

Honestly, this challenge has taken me a lot longer than I’d anticipated when I brought it up.  I was sure it would encourage me to write at least 5 days a week, but even though I spend 7-10 hours a day on my computer it really hasn’t.  Ah well.

Let’s power through some of these:

#26. Complete the sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I wish I had someone with whom I could share every single terrible, wonderful, scary, beautiful thing about myself.  Even with Scott, who knows me pretty damn well, after 9 1/2 years doesn’t know everything.  It’s a self preservation thing.  I wish I could though.  It would be nice to find someone that I could.  

#27. If you were going to become a close friend of the person you’re with, share what would be important for her or him to know.

Something important to know….when I say I don’t care, I DON’T FUCKING CARE.  It’s not a trick, it’s not a girl thing.  I don’t care, I don’t want to make a decision, so if you ask what I want to do or where I want to go and I say I don’t care…means I DON’T CARE.  That’s something that always drives me nuts.  There’s some sort of weird expectation or thought that when someone says that, they’re just being polite because they think what they want to do isn’t what the other person wants to do.  Well, I don’t care, but if there are things I DON’T want to do, I will tell you.

#28. Tell the person you’re with what you like about them; being very honest and saying things you might no say to someone you just met.

Some of these I swear are just the same things, only rephrased.  I like how creative you are, blog friend.  The pictures, the poems, the prose, the quirks.  I like it.  To go one step further I admire it.  Immensely.  Frequently.  I’m in awe.  Whether it’s someone who’s managed to make their livelihood off their blogs or just the lego scenes, I’m amazed.

#29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

When I first started my “real” job after college I had to buy new clothes because all I’d really worn before was scrubs.  Any way, I’d gone to the bathroom and I was wearing these really cute khaki capris that I’d bought in every color I could find because they were comfortable and flattering.  Well, there was a string on the inner thighs seams that was hanging loose.  You know when people say you should never pull a string, this is why.  I pulled it and proceeded to unravel the entire crotch of my pants.  Totally MORTIFIED.  Thankfully my manager was really cool and let me leave to go home and change, but before that happened I had to walk to her office….through a bunch of cubes and common areas.