Last night Tater Tot (11 years) had the cutting board dropped on his foot, followed by a jug of milk. He’s got a gi-normous blood blister under his toe nail and screamed bloody murder (as he was right to). Took almost 20 minutes to calm him down, including calling and waking up his dad who’s sick and out of town. He’s fine. Nothing’s broken. He’ll lose his toe nail later on but overall he’s fine. And he’s sore this morning.
I went to take garbage out to discover a large pile of school papers…that do not belong to any child I know. French Fry was the last one to put garbage in there and I have a sinking feeling that he stole someone’s notebook. I’m not sure if he copied her homework or if he took it for the binder since he was awfully determined to put a bunch of stuff into his binder last night. I’m not sure what’s going on and I’m not looking forward to finding out. I have a sneaking suspicion he’s not going to get to go to Cirque du Soleil Friday. The rest of us are going regardless. I will not let Scott stay home and miss it. French Fry gets a babysitter and Tater Tot gets to bring a friend. French Fry misses out. It’s his own damn fault.
I don’t know what to do with him. I’ve tried grounding him, taking away privileges and everything. What really upsets me too is that it looks like that poor kid has homework but she won’t get to do it because he took all her papers. I’m at a loss and I hope for his sake he tells me the truth when I confront him this afternoon.
So last night had a few more beverages than I had intended to have. I really meant to be good but that just didn’t happen and for that I willingly accepted the consequences. It happens.
But what I’m not sorry for was the rant I gave to someone via IM later that night. Perhaps it shouldn’t have happened after having too much to drink and I’m sure my rant made little to no sense (I refuse to go back and read it since it’s already out there and I wouldn’t take it back anyway), but the reality is that my feelings were badly hurt last night and dammit it was important that someone know they hurt my feelings. I even woke up this morning still feeling hurt and I resolve to give them the silent treatment until I decide that I’m not mad anymore.
Under normal circumstances I’d wake up and think, “hmm, maybe I overreacted a little.” But today I’m tired of feeling like that. Why is it okay for someone to hurt my feelings and then I end up apologizing for it? WHAT THE FUCK? Perhaps how I chose to address the situation wasn’t the best but nonetheless, I am not sorry that I ranted at you (no, not YOU) over IM after we’d been drinking but you (not YOU) were a colossal ass and right now you are NOT my friend.
So there. (Best way to end all arguments)
PS – While Enjoy By 2.4.2014 IPA by Stone is amazing it’s really high ABV. Be careful. UGH.
Warning: Bitchy and depressing post
I have been in a funk for awhile now. I’m beginning to think it’s lack of sunlight. I’ve upped my meds like the doctor gave me license to and nothing doing. I’m just grumpy. I hate the gym, I hate yoga, I hate work and it’s COLD. I don’t mind some cold but COME ON, some mornings I can’t warm up even with slippers, fleece jammies, a sweater and hot coffee. WTF. AND I will stab you in the eye just for the hell of it. Maybe not. But I did seriously considering pulling this bitch out of her car at the gym last night and throat punching her after she almost ran me over in the parking lot. ALMOST. RAN. ME. OVER. Who does that? I wasn’t wearing camouflage and I was clearly walking and she almost ran me over. I swear she even revved her engine. I can’t promise that I won’t slash her tires or punch her if I see her again. I better make sure NCBF has bail money. I miss sunshine. That has to be it.
I didn’t wake up and go to boot camp this morning. Well, let’s re-phrase, I woke up at 4:50 to pee and decided that I didn’t want to go. So I changed my alarm and then laid in bed chastising myself for being lazy and began the self-loathing inner monologues about how I suck and I won’t be prepared for the first Tri of the season, etc, etc, etc. Until I fell asleep again. I was so sure I’d wake up promptly at 8 and then get some lifting in. Uh, no, that didn’t happen either. ERGH! Hate this funk!
I’m trying to look forward to this afternoon as I’m taking it off to get my hair done. I’m in bad need of a color refresher and then I might get a pedicure or do my own. I don’t know. I want to play video games. NCBF wants me to play The Last of US and because I’m feeling so damn contrary I want to play Fallout: New Vegas. See what I mean? There’s no reason for that they’re both great games and he just wants to play it again so that’s why he wants me to finish it. Truth is, I suck at this game. There’s all the sneaking around stuff and I’ve just never been good at that. That’s why I like Fallout…can run into a room and blast the shit out of stuff.
That’s all I’ve got for my rant today. I really wish the sun would come out….