Drama, Drama, Drama

Last week was a week FULL of drama.  My Oreo baby went into Renal Failure and was hospitalized from Wednesday to Saturday.  Thankfully he’s completely back to normal but we still don’t know what happened.  More drama erupted between Scott and French Fry.  Ending with French Fry not coming to his dad’s and Tater Tot not going to his mom’s.  For the time being that’s the way it’s going to be.  French Fry threatend Tater Tot over their trip in Colorado and terrified Tater Tot.  He’s afraid to be around him.  He didn’t tell the adults about it because they never believe him.  Then their Mom spouted some bullshit about French Fry needing Tater Tot to protect him from his dad…a 15 year old who’s over 6’4″ needs his 13 year old brother to “protect” him from his father…I’ll let you think about that for a moment.

Let’s try to knock some more of these out:

#30.  When did you last cry in front of another person?  By yourself?

Wednesday when the vet told us Oreo was going into kidney failure and needed to be hospitalized immediately.  Wednesday when I was home from the vet worrying about whether or not he’d live.

#31.  Tell the person you’re with something you already like about them.

You’re SUCH a good listener.  🙂

#32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Rape, sexual abuse, suicide

#33. If you die this evening without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?  Why haven’t you told them yet?

I’d regret not telling my family to let go of whatever has caused them to become estranged from one another.  That life is way too short to be missing out on each other’s lives and relationships.  My brothers don’t talk.  My dad and stepmom don’t talk to my brother and his wife.  They’re all missing out on two adorable and amazing little boys and those little boys are growing up without a set of their grandparents and a weird but kick ass uncle.  Who else is going to teach them about the world of gaming and introduce them to the man bun.  Their missing out on fishing with my dad and baking with my stepmom.  All the hugs and the love.  It hurts my soul.  I haven’t said anything because it’s not quite my place.  I actually don’t completely know what happened between them and they’ve done their best to not put me in the middle which is appreciated.  Nonetheless it makes me sad.

It’s Time to Power Through

Honestly, this challenge has taken me a lot longer than I’d anticipated when I brought it up.  I was sure it would encourage me to write at least 5 days a week, but even though I spend 7-10 hours a day on my computer it really hasn’t.  Ah well.

Let’s power through some of these:

#26. Complete the sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I wish I had someone with whom I could share every single terrible, wonderful, scary, beautiful thing about myself.  Even with Scott, who knows me pretty damn well, after 9 1/2 years doesn’t know everything.  It’s a self preservation thing.  I wish I could though.  It would be nice to find someone that I could.  

#27. If you were going to become a close friend of the person you’re with, share what would be important for her or him to know.

Something important to know….when I say I don’t care, I DON’T FUCKING CARE.  It’s not a trick, it’s not a girl thing.  I don’t care, I don’t want to make a decision, so if you ask what I want to do or where I want to go and I say I don’t care…means I DON’T CARE.  That’s something that always drives me nuts.  There’s some sort of weird expectation or thought that when someone says that, they’re just being polite because they think what they want to do isn’t what the other person wants to do.  Well, I don’t care, but if there are things I DON’T want to do, I will tell you.

#28. Tell the person you’re with what you like about them; being very honest and saying things you might no say to someone you just met.

Some of these I swear are just the same things, only rephrased.  I like how creative you are, blog friend.  The pictures, the poems, the prose, the quirks.  I like it.  To go one step further I admire it.  Immensely.  Frequently.  I’m in awe.  Whether it’s someone who’s managed to make their livelihood off their blogs or just the lego scenes, I’m amazed.

#29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

When I first started my “real” job after college I had to buy new clothes because all I’d really worn before was scrubs.  Any way, I’d gone to the bathroom and I was wearing these really cute khaki capris that I’d bought in every color I could find because they were comfortable and flattering.  Well, there was a string on the inner thighs seams that was hanging loose.  You know when people say you should never pull a string, this is why.  I pulled it and proceeded to unravel the entire crotch of my pants.  Totally MORTIFIED.  Thankfully my manager was really cool and let me leave to go home and change, but before that happened I had to walk to her office….through a bunch of cubes and common areas.  

We the Bloggers, Being of Sound Mind…Wait…Hunh?

Funny story this morning…so I went outside to start watering my garden because I can only water twice a week due to water restrictions and as I’m getting the hose and sprayer together then walking over to the spigot I look at my watch to check the time to discover today is Tuesday.  Yes, DISCOVER.  My watering days are Wednesday and Saturday.  Don’t I feel a little stupid.  This was after I’d had the conversation with myself about skipping my Tuesday AM ride because I slept in and it’ll cut into work.  I slept in because I was up until 2 talking with Scott since he and Tater Tot finally came home from their “man trip” last night.  And he bought a hearse….yeah, he bought a hearse.  No words.  It’s actually pretty cool, however I have a hard time reconciling it given how impractical it is.  But it’s not my money.

So, onward we go!

#25.  Make 3 true “we” statements for each.  For instance, “We are both in this room feeling….”

We…so between you and me, dear reader…we.  

1. We are both members of the Blogosphere.

2. We are both voyeurs into other people’s lives and worlds through the reading of blogs.

3. We are both sharing our lives, troubles, fears, thoughts, triumphs, and dreams for others out there in the world.

In additional news I have 3 weeks until my next triathlon.  This race is my “A” race and also one of the longest I’ve done in a very long time.  It’s a 1500m swim (just under a mile), 23.6 mile bike and 6.2 mile run.  The bike and run I’m not worried about.  I’ll get through those.  The swim…ah that damn swim.  I am worried about.  The longest I’ve swam so far has been 1050m.  Thursday I’m planning to do 1600m (1 mile) and I need to consistently do at least that in preparation.  I’m anticipating a 1 hour time for this portion of the race.  Which is how long until the Sprint Tri starts and I’m hoping to be out of the water by the time they start.

Also, I’ve thrown my hat into the ring to be an Outlander recipe tester.  There is a blogger chef that has created recipes around the Outlander books, including dishes that are talked about in the books and inspired by the books.  Fingers crossed.  Could be fun!

Happy Tuesday all!

Mummy Dearest

Happy Monday all!

Friday I got to go see Jennifer Weiner talk and got a book signed at one of our local bookstores.  It was amazing!  If you’ve read her before I recommend seeing her if ever possible.  That chick is HILARIOUS.  Anytime a chick takes off her shoes and admits that while they are cute they hurt like hell and then states in the first 5 minutes that “I am out of fucks to give” you know you’re in for a good time.  And if you haven’t read her and like chick lit go get Good In Bed.

Right now.  I’ll wait.  Go.  1-Click Buy on Amazon.  You’ll thank me later.

My “dream team” panel of lady novelists would be Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess), Jen Lancaster, Jennifer Weiner, Kim Harrison, Laurel K. Hamilton, Diana Gabaldon and Phillipa Gregory.  At one table with me and bottomless mimosas and sangria.

I’ve decided that Lawson, Lancaster and Weiner are now to be called “Jen Cubed”.  They will be my best friends.  They will be the ones to talk me into getting the red minnie mouse halter top from Torrid that I’ve been eyeballing for months but am terrified to get and then they will take me out in it where I will meet Tom Hardy or Jai Courtney (can’t decide right now) and he will fall madly in love with me and sweep me off my feet.  I will reconsider my decision to procreate and pop out 2 beautiful Tom / Jai babies and live happily ever after.  BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.  Although I don’t think changing poopie diapers fits into “happily ever after.”

Which is a PERFECT segue into today’s question! (Admit it, you’re feeling a little more fondness for me this morning.  Or maybe you need more coffee)

#24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Since I have two moms…kinda.  I’ll evaluate both.

My mom and I have a good relationship.  We’re more like friends than mother / daughter.  She doesn’t treat me like I’m a kid as she does with my brother.  We call each other for advice, we rarely fight and we’re a lot alike.  I know how alike we are so I try extremely hard not to be too much like her.  Because while I love her dearly, she sometimes gets annoying (as I’m sure so do I).  The only thing I would change in our relationship is that I do wish we lived closer.  Not necessarily in the same city but within driving distance.  Not states apart.  I like getting to hang out with her.  We see each other probably twice a year or so.  Usually once up in Idaho and then once in Texas.  

My stepmom and I have a decent relationship.  We don’t talk much anymore.  We see each other maybe once a year or so.  It’s definitely not a bad relationship, we keep in touch mainly on Facebook, but we’re not close anymore.  Partly that’s because of her.  I’ve found out in the past that she’s shared things I’ve said in confidence that shouldn’t have been shared.  She makes snide comments to me about my relationship choices on occasion.  Most of it I let roll off my back, but she’s supported an estrangement between her, my youngest brother, my dad and my other brother.  (Them versus him) They couldn’t even be bothered to go see their newest grandson when he was born in June.  That breaks my heart and I don’t understand it.  

Overall I have positive relationships with my moms.  

Have a great Monday.  And seriously go get that book!

Warm Fuzzies and Big Hugs

So we’re caught up now.  I’ve actually been thinking about how I was going to answer this question pretty much all day.  It’s very similar to another question so I won’t repeat myself too much.

#23. How close and warm was your family?  Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?  

I’d say my family was very close once upon a time.  It’s almost been a warm family.  Very affectionate, very loving and you knew you were loved.  Even when going through the throes of teenage girl angsty shit.  No matter how much my dad yelled at me or how “mean” I thought he was I knew deep down it was because he loved me.  Same with my mom and stepmom, but dad yelled the most.

I wish we were as close as we were once upon a time.  It breaks my heart to see my brother, sister in law and nephews estranged from my dad, stepmom and youngest brother.  I have no idea what happened between everyone, they’ve been good to keep me out.  But my dad and stepmom haven’t even seen my new nephew in person.  Just the pictures on Facebook.  How can you not want to see your adorable grandbaby?  I just don’t get it.  My new nephew’s birth was extremely difficult and there was major concern that either or both would be lost at one point.  Thankfully he was born healthy and while it’s been a difficult recovery for my sis, in the end it was all right.  How do you not want to be there?  I just don’t get it.

Was my childhood happier?  I don’t know that I would say that, I know it was better than some people’s and possibly not as good as others.  Divorced families are tough, it’s the nature of the situation.  But my parents did their best for us and while we each have our own issues, possibly stemming from the divorce possibly not, I’d say we’re doing okay.  

Side note:

Went to the pool yesterday and had a great swim work out.  Had actually been looking forward to going to the pool which is extremely rare.  I think I’ve started to tap into that drive and motivation I’ve been missing.  Ran 6.2 miles this morning, did great for 4.5 miles then ended up walking a lot of the rest.

Last year when the tri season started I had to get new tri shorts because I had gained weight and my old ones didn’t fit.  Which was pretty rough.  This afternoon I tried on my old pair of tri shorts just for shits and grins aaaaaannnnndddddd  THEY FIT!  WOO HOO!

Have a great weekend all!!

You Never Know What You Got, ’til It’s Gone

So this is the last of the questions that I missed before.  I’ve got my hands full with everything this morning so let’s get started.

#19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?  Why?

If I knew that in a year I’d be gone I’d probably go ahead and sell off all my crap, my house, etc, and get my ass to some places on my bucket list while I have the chance.  Before that I’d go ahead and continue working until it was all done, then I’d put in my notice and get the last of my paychecks.  My company only pays out half of the accrued PTO so I’d want to get as much as I could so I’d still have a little money coming in.  I’d spend what time I had here with my friends and get as much puppy loves in as I could.  Then it’s off to Bali, Ireland, Central Europe, Greece and back to Scotland.  After I did that whirlwind trip I’b be back in Idaho spending my time left visiting my family, loving every moment of watching my nephews grow, eating Flying Pie Pizza in Boise and maxxing out all my credit cards and cashing in my 401K to do it.  I’d make Scott drive up to Idaho with the pups and possibly Tater Tot.  I would also hope that maybe I could bring my dad and brothers back together.

Why would I change how I’m living?  Well, when you don’t have an expiration date or at least not something that’s coming up any time soon then you can easily say, “Oh, I’ll do that next year” or “I can’t afford that right now, but eventually.”  I think if I knew my time was limited I would find a way to make it all happen.  As to why I couldn’t live that way now?  Well, not traveling is really due to money.  My Scotland trip cost me a few thousand, which mostly went on my credit cards, but it was WORTH EVERY PENNY.  My goal is to go somewhere new and amazing out of the country each year.  This year we went to Dominican Republic.  Next year possibly Greece or Germany.  As for being in Idaho, well, that’s just me.  I’m not quite ready to leave Texas.  I’m extremely torn.  On one hand I want to be with my family but on the other I’m not ready to let go of Scott and my life here.  

My sister-in-law was telling me how exciting it was for her when she moved to a new city to go to college and I agreed with her wholeheartedly.  Then had to explain that it’s significantly easier to move as an adult when you have a office job or school at your destination.  But when you work from home and only know your family…it’s a little harder to make friends.  I’m actually shy at first.  *sigh*  It’s a hard decision.  

Have a great Thursday!

Some Things We Don’t Want To Remember

It’s been some time, but I was on vacation and trying to avoid being on my computer any more than necessary since it was way more important to spend time running around with my 2.5 year old nephew and snuggling with my 6 weeks old nephew.

So now we’re back to those questions I missed previously.  As I’m again running behind on time it’s going to be a bit before I catch up.  Hang with me!

#18. What is your most terrible memory.

I have no idea for sure what age I was, but I am thinking somewhere between Kindergarten and 2nd grade.  My mom had taken at least me to Ann Morrison park in Boise.  I don’t recall if my brother was there.  I went to the public bathroom and it was one of those kinds where it was just one toilet and you locked to main door.  I locked it, went to the bathroom, washed my hands and when I tried to leave I couldn’t get the door open.  I had unlocked it but I guess it was stuck.  I still have no idea, but I remember pulling and pulling on it and being terrified that someone was trying to lock me into the bathroom.  As an adult I know there is no logical explanation why someone would try to lock me into the bathroom by myself.  But I was so scared, crying and begging to be let out.  Eventually I was able to get the door open and I remember running to my mom, but nothing really after that.  I remember looking around briefly to see who might have tried to lock me in but didn’t see anyone.  Once in awhile I still remember how scared I was that day.  

To end on a happier note, here’s my cutie-patootie nephew.

Already ready to take over the meeting!